Don’t settle for ‘fine’
Is sex a little dull? Orgasms too few and far between? No creativity or imagination in the boudoir? Lost the thrill of that new relationship sex and just want to ‘get it over with’?
Here are some tips to ensure you don’t settle for sex that is just ‘fine’ and to help you to reignite the passion and achieve fantastic orgasms every time.
Think Sexy
Before anything, clear your mind of the day’s stress and to do lists. Forget the mundane, don’t think about the week ahead or the fast-approaching event that’s going to need heaps of preparation, or the bills that need paying, or anything else that occupies your time during the day. Those thoughts do not belong here. Banish them from the bedroom, along with your phone. Facebook can wait!
Women’s heads play a major role when it comes to great sex. What’s going on in our minds will either inspire or completely deflate a sexy situation, so it’s important to understand yourself and know what you need to feel your horniest.
Turn your complete and undivided attention to sexy thoughts.
Experiment. Try fantasising to bring that extra bit of heat to the reality. You may find a little sexy talk works well for you. How about masturbation to get the ball rolling? A little one-on-one time can really help you to understand what excites you most, which are your most sensitive, sensual areas without having to think about other’s needs or feelings. Give yourself time to get to know what works best for you and feel good about it. It’s important research! Try using sex toys whilst masturbating or during foreplay. Loads of women do, and for very good reason!
Be Creative
For decades, women and men have battled over the lights-on/lights-off quandary. Men love watching whilst women often use fantasies to get them in the zone and this ‘venus/mars’ conflict can hinder bedroom success. If your imagination plays a big part in achieving that sexy feeling and darkness enables you to immerse yourself more completely in your thoughts and sensations, there needn’t be a conflict, just a little creativity. In this situation, why not use a blindfold? This will work wonders for him and the kinky element may be just what you need to take you to the next level.
Similarly, if fantasies work for you, then don’t necessarily keep your thoughts and imaginings to yourself. If you’re picturing being tied up, then why not try it for real? A little role-play might be just the thing to lose those inhibitions and let yourself go, bringing fun as well as pleasure into your love-making.
Be Honest
Don’t fake it. It’ll leave you feeling frustrated and lonely and will do nothing to fill you with anticipation for next time. What’s more, whilst Meg Ryan makes a pretty good job of it, not all of us are sufficiently gifted actresses to pull a fake off.
It’s always best to be honest with your partner and to talk about what really works and the things that leave you feeling unsexy (you see why you need to know yourself?). Keep it positive – he’ll love hearing about the areas you want him to concentrate on, how you feel when he really hits the spot. Gentle guidance with positive encouragement will ensure you get what you’re after without any hurt or upset feelings.
Try New Things
Busy lifestyles and everyday stresses can leave us all feeling exhausted. Bed is often yearned for, not for the fun sexual exploits that occur there, but for blissful rest, maybe a quick read, followed by a peck on the cheek and….sleeeeeep!
It’s easy to forget just how much fun and invigorating good sex can be when the lure of sleep after a busy day is so strong.
We’ve all heard the saying “variety is the spice of life”. Well, it’s also great at putting the spice back into sex and to ensuring you don’t just settle for a quickie just so you can get to sleep. We urge you to try something new – you won’t regret it.
Statistics show that around 70% of women are unable to orgasm during intercourse, but there are plenty of great positions that either rub against the clitoris or enable you or your partner to give your clit the attention it needs to help you orgasm.
The Doggy style is great for clitoral access and stimulation, either manually or with a sex toy for extra fun. Try taking the lead and go on top – this is excellent for role play and a real treat for your man. Sex standing up can be fabulous, particularly in the shower. Stand with your back to him so he can manhandle you and touch you in all the right places. Spooning is incredibly sexy and great for hitting the G-spot.
The options for new positions are endless and you’ll have hours of fun exploring them to find your favourites.
All Things Anal
Anal sex isn’t for everyone. There is a taboo associated with it that can either excite and make it more appealing, or can be a complete turn-off. The naughty aspect of anal sex adds to the fun for many – but can be too much for some. It is also trickier to master if not done before and can hurt if gone at with anything more than a slow pace. A good silicone-based lubricant is imperative to help a smooth the way.
Whilst it may not be to everyone’s liking, there is no argument that anal stimulation has an intensely powerful and immensely pleasurable effect on many. It can feel absolutely incredible and unlike any other sensation experienced before. It also allows for unrestricted clitoral stimulation to take you to the next stratosphere of orgasmic delight. Go on, give it a go!
Hopefully we’ve given you food for thought and inspired you enough to ensure you reach for your sexy lingerie this evening….
Let us know how you get on.